| Wednesday, April 2nd, 2008 |
| 8:22 pm |
"chuck norris can slam a revolving door"
soooo im at lizz's atm and we are just pissing about on the computer having a laugh. I have died the underneath of my hair pink looks well jazzy :D . Liz is making me tea tonigh so i will be on hand with a substance that calms fire :P . Going home earlish tomorrow so i can beautify myself for amys birthday out in bishwaaaa hopefully sophies coming cos i aint seen her in agess and i pure miss her :/. So me and lizz are just going to kick back with sweets and watch suger rush tonight, XD . I think im definitely over tony this time i only real a think about him when ive had a drink and i guess thats it. So no longer working at hays it was wank money anyway i have a interview with a hairdressing academy on the 8th of april so fingers crossed i will be chopping at my friends hair sooooon! Im going to me dads at the weekend to talk about learning to ride a bike he paid for my twins driving lessons so he can pay for my CBT and a bike ;) a pretty one i dont want something that looks tacky and all plasticy like the one we saw at the pub tuther day :/ it will be nice to go out for a ride with my dad and next time he buggers off to a foreign country to see the bike races he can take me. Got to go see my horse this weekend havent been on her in agesssss not that ive had the chance since nickys started to say that tink is hers (stupid bitch). I dont like the fact mazz was snide about me and then once i mouthed off about it she starts being overly nice although i did apoligize for being a bit too harsh but things carnt be back on track straight away. Anyway im off to smoke my lungs black now . cio bitches. Current Mood:  relaxed |
| Monday, April 30th, 2007 |
| 2:44 pm |
we are the stars of cctv
Well this weekend has been rather fun, On friday i went to tonys and we watched the devils rejects :( omg how gross was that eugh! but we had a bottle of cider to keep me rather sane, On saturday i went to work and then got a lift to ton'ys. It was such a good night i was an inie weenie bit drunkard and well the bed was the main destination you get the jist... On sunday a day of cider,frolics of a kind andlove,love love. Today i realised i break up from collage on the 25th of MAy ^-^ so rather excited. After that the world is my oyster im looking forward to;
May 5th; Hazels visiting for a week
May 25th; Breaking up from college
June 1st; My birthday! June 3rd; Boro live (national drink and drugs day!) June 8th,9th,10th FUCKING DOWNLOAD BABY!!!!!!!!!!
Current Mood:  loved |
| Thursday, April 26th, 2007 |
| 9:11 am |
bus's are wankers
Well yester day was fun 0.O i was stressing over coursework and had a headache. Tony was being a pratt cos i wanted to eat my lunch and he went and said come to my house now. So i went to arcadia to ring him. Met mazz and she said she'd walk me to my bus so we got to the bus stop only to find out that the bus stop had changed 0.O! so we had to run to the "new" bustop only to find out the arrvia one wasnt running till later on so mazz kindly lend me £2 to get the damn thing i was so pissed off but il have to find her today to return the dough . So yeah today shouldn't be that much fun. I carn't wait till Aimee comes over on Wednesday it should be a right laugh with alorra alcohol. I carn't wait i love that girl. Oh and i get to see my Sophie as she is back from Cyprus im sure there will be some rather amusing stories. Current Mood:  content |
| Wednesday, April 25th, 2007 |
| 12:18 pm |
Todays quote
'Oh yey! A cameltoe and spikey legs!'
By Elizabeth Ward on her look today! ;) Current Mood:  chipper |
| Tuesday, April 24th, 2007 |
| 2:49 pm |
ME!ME!ME!
me and sophie went to argos to buy a furbie but there was non in ! :,( gutted mate! I love my tony hes my baby aww i miss him. Yesterday was lovely really lovely. He was so nice and attentive all day and we had a really nice evening together i carn't begin to explain how happy i am with this relationship at the moment. Thungs are looking good everythings looking up and perky just like my boobies ;) So yeah im happy and well and i just an a really positive person at them moment. Do you feel it? Yeah me too Current Mood: undefined |
| Wednesday, April 18th, 2007 |
| 10:58 am |
cruel intentions
I just don't know how to put it anymore.I'm compleatly lost and bewildered in my own little world at this current point in time. I carn't see where i am going or a point in anything i do. I love him more than anyone i have before but his drunken antics are getting very old. I know he loves me but the thing is im starting to resent him for being nice i think its all a cover up for when he wants to get drunk and be an arse to me. Ive had so many people come up to me saying 'why do u put up with him? you could do so much better' and my answer maybe i don't want to do better. I love him and we have been through more than some people ever will and we still stay together. Its never been easy but it the circumstances it was inevitable that it would never be easy, I have so many ambitions and i know i can and will suceed in them, i hope one day he will fufill his real full potential because there is alot of intelligence and intergraty and Obsolete in him. I just wish he would see that insted of getting wasted and putting on a facade he would show people he is a brilliant guy. I blame her for twisting him but i blame him too for letting her mangle him even though she's not in his life and never will be again she has still left her imprint she may aswell of pissed on him and branded him 'slags territory'. I wish that i could have a laid back easy relatonship and have a laugh constantly im not saying we don't have a laugh because we do but there is always something there to spoil it and make it conceited. I just wish i could adjust myself to make me not give a shit and let him ruin his life but i know if i did that id be sabotageing my life too. So really there is no way of winning its a game of chance. I just hope there will be some light shredded on this complex and confusing situation because i know one thing for sure i adore tony and i love him.if i could make all his dreams come true i would. But im just a mere girl , standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
I'm not a perfect person There's many things I wish I didn't do But I continue learning
Current Mood:  pessimistic |
| Friday, March 23rd, 2007 |
| 11:16 am |
theres a killer on the road
You either stand or you fall !Tbh im feeling rather happy today.Im a bit like a peledulam im so unpredictable. I don't feel tied down and im quite happy with a friendship with tony like we used to although if im drunk i carn't promise i wont be able to resist my feeling to be hounest.But i feel stronger than i have in a long time.I know the game and the ball is in my court. Im not going to lie.Anymay im off out tonight and its gna be a laugh. I carn't believe im being as cool about this as i am to be hounest i don't feel anything about anything.But i do love my friends they are my world. any yeah i love him but i know what im doing this time. Im going to be happy and he carn't stop that :) 'And all of what I feel I could show tonight,you tonight' Current Mood:  mischievous |
| Thursday, March 22nd, 2007 |
| 9:57 am |
defeated
It over.Finally, i feel i can be alone and i think that if i isolate myself then i have to reason to let anybody in. I learnt my lesson well and i now know there is a life better than this i feel so Heartbroken and nothing can make me feel at ease. nothing. I lost,he lost . I will never feel better about this i keep thinking of all the good things we did the things we will never do again and its killing me. Current Mood:  i give up |
| Monday, March 19th, 2007 |
| 3:34 pm |
have the lambs stopped screaming ?
well the weekend was really good.After i finished college on friday afternoon me n tone went bra shopping with craig and maz. Tony decided to groap the manniquins while i was looking for a mint green bra .After that we went to subway when i got a call from toria asking me to meet her.So we waited for toria she arrived and tone went to phrobation.i sat and had a fag with toria while she poured her heart out about Joe and chloe i fucking hate chloe if she upsets my little toria anymore she wil get her head smacled off a curb. So me toria and tone went to the cafe and we went and had a coffee in the cafe with everyone.Toria left and me and tony walked and bought sum fosters and we went back to his :) . It was lovely we had a drink and a laugh it was so nice :) he took me to the bus stop and i missed him as soon as i stepped foot on the bus. On saturday morning mam woke me up at quater to six for work i was not amused but she won me around with a cuppa and a ciggie. So i woke up and packed my stuff for tonys house and set off for work were i did a 5 and a half hour shift. After work finished at 2 i got the bus straight to tonys.We messed around for a couple of hours and then i got ready for our night out, He looked so cute. So we went out at quatre to 7 and had a few drinks at dl3 it was 70's and 80's night so i was in my prime.We got half way throughb the guisness challenge and then went to the green dragon where we completed the task and got 3 hats! we had a game of pool and tony whipped some guys arse at it.As the night progressed so did my slushy side and me and tony had the perfect relationship we had a brilliant night i even had enough room for a shots competition with him.As the night reached the end we went to bells bought some cider wearing our hats! and went home and fell into bed.The next morning tone woke me up and lifted me to the window to see the snow i was so tired but it was cute.I then fell asleep again and woke up and me and tony had something to eat and then read,smoked and drank.I felt really groggy from having no sleep during the week and hugover so i fell asleep but eveyone kept ringing me and i started to get unsettled and upset so tony comforted me and he took me to the shop where we bought ket from the shop plus my tea which he cooked ^-^ we then settled down and watched silence of the lambs.I quite enjoyed it :) . All in all i had a lovely weekend with my boy. Current Mood:  working |
| Friday, March 16th, 2007 |
| 11:22 pm |
alot of changes
hes done it :) HE paid his weight in gold and i love him so damn much.WERE TOGETHER DEAL! i love my friends and my lad so much they make me fell like WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA LOVE!!!!!!!! Current Mood: exhausted |
| Tuesday, March 13th, 2007 |
| 3:46 pm |
Am i real? this all seems so Hazy like an illusion or A dream,im not quite here but im attached and you can see me.Its difficlut to explain and in its self its all pretty easy to see im just not me anymore.I feel like i have to seek happyness out of a packet of cigarettes and i feel like im slowly dying. I miss not being overjoyed at hearing his voice i go into these weird moods with him just because i can and he still here looking after me but why? He could do alot better but maybe he does just want me. Current Mood: indescribable |
| Wednesday, February 14th, 2007 |
| 11:19 am |
sobriety a sin?
Well he is home.So there was a lot of people already there when i met him and well we went out.And he had a good time :) then was alsleep by quatre past 9 bless him. Its nice to know i have my baby back and i didnt even get drunk! i was rather proud of myself. So while me,sam dunk keithy and tony went off to petes and keithys,
kyle went to rileys (thank god or so i thought) he had been a big shit stirrer last night and that pissed me off something cronic. So i met sophie today to get told kyle had hit the manager and the manager and his bigger friend lamped Kyle one..really it proberbly was the best way to give him a reality check. So kyle has staples in his head or eye sumthing like that.oh he will learn. (actually he proberbly won't ) but ne who i have my baby back so its all good :) . "he returned and so did her smile" Current Mood: mellow |
| Monday, February 12th, 2007 |
| 2:26 pm |
a message of love and a death threat.
If you be my star
I'll be your sky
you can hide underneath me and come out at night
when I turn jet black and you show off your light
I live to let you shine
I live to let you shine
but you can skyrocket away from me
and never come back if you find another galaxy
far from here with more room to fly
just leave me your stardust to remember you by
if you be my boat
I'll be your sea a depth of pure blue just to probe curiosity
ebbing and flowing and pushed by a breeze
I live to make you free
I live to make you free
but you can set sail to the west if you want to
and past the horizon till I can't even see you
far from here where the beaches are wide
just leave me your wake to remember you by
if you be my star
I'll be your sky
you can hide underneath me and come out at night
when I turn jet black and you show off your light
I live to let you shine
I live to let you shine
but you can skyrocket away from me
and never come back if you find another galaxy
far from here with more room to fly
just leave me your stardust to remember you by
stardust to remember you by
Hes home tomorrow and personally i carn't wait for him to whrap his arms around me and know that its all finally over :)
ps.If you read this u fucking cunt and you know who you are.Write one more email pathetically begging for him back and have everyone laughing at you or go anywhere near him I will break your neck you walking sexual transmitted disease you :) Current Mood: ditzy |
| Saturday, January 6th, 2007 |
| 11:10 am |
fuck you Jack
i feel im dieing..hangovers have never been this bad :/ im gna go chuck up my guts now..il resume this entry later when i am back from work ....*pukes*.... pt 2! well on thursday we all went to craigs house party which was a good night. Me in the blond wig and the leather jackets was fun, so we all had a few to drink and me n james ordered a pizza so me ,craig james and liz ran upstairs and barricaded ourselves in to eat the pizza and avoid giving any1 elses a slice cos we r tht greedy!So the next morning woke up at like half 1, 2o clock and me liz james n pete mished off to town and liz&james went home me n pete went for a macdonalds then to meet sophie.
So we went to meet our soph and headed to rileys for a few games of pool and a few drinks,then we went to the dl3 for a couple and off to baccaus and got a jug of cider and we were with sam and dunk who invited me to stay with em..but the bastard bouncer chucked dunk out so sam and him went to the turks and me soph,n pete finished off our jug then went to the turks so we were all sat having a laugh and then glyn,tommy B,martin,stuey,barton west n danny came along so we all had a toast to our tone and arranged tones night out. And doing a bit of the ol bitching ;)
So as the night progressed so did the amout of Jd and coke,cider and larger. SO being <s>Quite</s> very drunk i went to la toilet to pass out and b sick :( ...and sam came in with a pint of water making sure i was ok ..then i hit my head and things went blurrry. But i made an appearence and realised one of the bouncers was my dads mates and we had a bit of the ol banter and got 1 or 2 people barred. :D . So then back inside we had a bit of a singalong and at closing time we all left very very drunk on our way to sams. So me and sam kinda lagged behind as we were freezing and very drunk. But when we got to the house sam showed me my room then we went downstairs and all had another singalong and a drink then i passed out on my bed and woke up to a dunk asking me if i was ok and that everything was gonna be fine about tony and we were like *omg hes home soon yey* ! so everyone finally passed out and i woke up this morning to blurred vision and a banging head. And went off to the trainstation to get my lift home to go to work..al in all a mint 2 nights.Oh see tone tomorrow yey! "no matter how bad seem or get you always have the ones who you can count on to pick you back up again and show you the way" Current Mood:  sick |
| Wednesday, January 3rd, 2007 |
| 8:39 pm |
hold my hand please? I long to see you,i long to touch your face. My lips tremble when i think of you and my eyes start to sting, i try so hard to hold them back but its out of my controle. My head is clouded and i can honestly say i have never utterd a single word without some dishonorable intention to any other love i may have had..but to you its all truth. All i want is the man that i love back where he belongs ...with me. Is that so much to ask?
Well today was ok i woke at 2.45pm so not as band as yesterdays awakening. I got up came on msn and was chatting away..hazels having the scan next week so she must be really excited. So after a fag and a cup of tea i was ready to get ready and face the world. I went up to see my cousin so we opened up a crate and had a chat and watched american pie 2..god i love that movie.
As it was cold and dark outside i decided to come home and have a bath and an early night..i really need one to be fair so..goodnight
cio cio xxx
'No one will appear, here and make me real'
Current Mood:  blah |
| 1:53 am |
insomnia
well today i didnt wake till half 5 this afternoon.I don't know whats whrong with me at the minute all i want to do is sleep..i feel constantly tired and restless. I miss Tone so much its like theres a major chunk of me missing. Ive felt nothing as painful and distressing as this before in comparrison to anything. I know hes coming home soon its the littlest comfort in the deep,dark wildering hole i seem to be in but it helps.I don't even want to cry because i know i won't stop,i carnt even bring myself to looking at pictures of him because i know it will instigate the tears. All i can do is smile and get on with life because i know there is so much to look forward to and all this bullshit will be a part of the past the past i wont ever give another thought about and i won't even have to entertain the thought anymore.
I would like to thank all of my friends..you guys have supported me so much and its greatly appreciated. Well apart from the depressing part of the day after i finally got up i realised it was dark..do you have any idea of how bizarre going to bed in the dark and waking up in the dark is..i think its the only time in my life where i have spent a day in darkness..no wonder im so bloody depressed.
So i got up and got something to eat then went to mams to find no one in but jordan and his mate fucking around and being annoying chavs as per usual. Mark text and asked me to meet him so i went met mark only to find out hes got himself a boyfriend (about time too) and hes smitten...so after walking down in the bloody finger and toe numbing wether to Lisa's we all sat had a smoke then mark left to watch Hollyoaks me and lisa sat with a bottle of lambrini (im classy) and had a chat..then i started to get restless and decided to walk up home.
Got home and decided to go on msn so me and lou had a web cam sesh which was funny and definitley cheered me up . So that was pretty much today ..i just hope i can have a good nights sleep :,( .
'if absence makes the heart grow fonder then why carn't it make the heart feel at peace'
Current Mood: restless |
| Tuesday, January 2nd, 2007 |
| 2:14 am |
New year..new girl
Well its new years day and i feel fucking rough from the night before. We all went round pete's..me lish&james Kyle&Lexy And of course Pete&soph. So we were all there pretty much by 6. So we cracked open a crate and a few bottles of cider,all the spirits . Then the lads went off to buy us all a chinese which gave half of us food poisoning and made lexy extreamly ill. So we all ate that and got drunk very drunk...the girlies having a bitch and a laugh trying out new and interesting positions in which the camera came out im ashamed to say :(. and the boyos doing the manley playing with the knives and crossbows (where the fuck they came from i do not no). SO we all got to the extream stage of drunkness. Wen it hit 12 we all had a drink for tony and a laugh together...then everyone started to ahem get a bit Intimate and like i walked in on a frisky Liz and james i think i felt my eyes disolve a quick porn preview!! .So when the shinannigans were over (thank god) the drinking resumed and me and kyle had a slight disagreement in which i responded to with my fists :( and kyle made a quick exit but then we had a hug and a chat everything was peachy. The next morning after giving james the heavey metal throwing of a willy wake up call next to an amused liz we decided to give kyle and lexy a heavy metal stuffed elephant wake up call so i bombarded them with an assortment of stuffed elephants hiding around the corner. We then plodded downstairs and after a cup of joe i had my real morning wake up ..a can of boddingtons..and a nice conyak rollie to start the day off. So after a good half a day of smoking and chit chatting we realised kyle and lexy must of been asleep till pete came down rather stunned 'kyle and lexy arnt there' turns out they left at 11 so lexy could get home for a family occasion so my heavy metal elephant wake up call was for shit all :( i wonderd why there was no groaning coming from the room. Got picked up at half 4 came home had a bath and the wrote my letter for tony (god i miss that boy and his love ^-^ So meh hes home soon so yey! ... 'just another drunken night' Current Mood: loved |
| Monday, July 31st, 2006 |
| 1:31 pm |
work :/
Well atm i am at work for my dads company :/ oh the joys, Dun the health and safety satistics and now having a well earned break after 4 n a half hours for 12 of the different branches of the company non stop working.. Well at the weekend was a propa girly 1 . Me n gem went to whitby .We got there and basically it was non stop constant giggling , bitching about the boys and singing and dancing!. We got to movies out , (jar head Sexy jake omg onli wearing a xmas thong i was like omfg ! *foams at the mouth* and american beauty!) We bought fuck loads of sweets and my fosters and went and watched our movies!.We didnt go to bed till 4 and just laughed our way to slumber :). Satuday we woke up to my mam Saying its 12 uve got 15 mins b4 we go out...we jumped out of bed and put on our clothes and slap and we were ready. So We got into town and arranged to meet mam and Dad in 3 hours for a fosters. So Off we travelled we went to earth wind fire and water and tried on the different types of lipsticks, me sporting a rather dashing baby blue. So we skipped on to the old sweet shop and bought rosy apples was well nice oo and a sugar pig!. After we bought our ket we were off to the beach. So we got in the water well gemma ran out of the water!.. took pics and eventually it was time to meet mam. Had my fosters then me n gem fucked off again and went bk to meet mam and dad.So we stayed up alll night and got up sunday and went home. Then i had to go to my dads and step mams in newcastle :/. Well thats what happend this weekend but over the last few months.. well i me n soph went to cyprus and had 2 whole weeks of sun, booze,booze, topless sun bathing and pulling oo and booze. I got my little tatoo an S with 2 stars . Dad got married and i had more booze.... Then there was the all nighters ,seshes and partys. booze, drugs,booze and a 2 week grounding . Im getting another 3 tattoos this summer and my madonna piercing ! apart from that all is normal :). so cio cio xxx Current Mood: chipper |
| Wednesday, March 1st, 2006 |
| 10:10 pm |
Fuck to the lads
Well its the 1st of march at life is a pile of gary glitter wank tbh! Its like everyone at skool is reli upset, there are abwt 2 who have gd reasons to be the rest is all eughhh.. dnt get me whrong i am the queen of strops but please cum on lets get on with it. Why do lads make us girls feel this way? Do they get some weid satisfaction out of making our lives as difficult and upsetting as possible..most of them dnt give a fuck anyway. They dont care bwt looking there best for us its a case of roll outta bed "oo there a top from last week and my jeans are over there thrown on my computer chair, then its a quik fingers thru the hair thenb ready :(.. where as us grls take our time with the hair straightners and specific eyelinering :/. AM i the onli gir who is anti-boys right now??????????????/// Current Mood: numb |
| Monday, February 27th, 2006 |
| 5:35 pm |
Omg its bin bloody ages since i last left a entry. Disgracful! so yea alot of stoof has happend since then and i mean alot! but i dnt wanna bore u with it all. So today first day bk frm hols and bk at polam :( blah. So got in greeted by my chorouse of adoring m8ts (Hazel,sophie,sam,maz n sam) so there was the 6 of us in the class talking bwt fun happening ova half term :P. Well pleased to say sophies bk with the "stallion" WHEY! bwt time reli so i was all :D bwt tht! oo i am definitly going to cyprus for 2 weeks!!!!!!!! oh yes sun, sea and booze lots of it!!!!... so year reli cyked bwt tht :D hmm LOVE LIFE! Nothing to report playing the field ;) and having lots of fun ..wud b nice to have tht special person, i do want sum1 and like am head ova heels reli for this person ..like its killing me lol.. and no matter wat i do it will never b gd haha! ALL i am gna say is damn the legal system! So yar bin a okies day ready to have tea and go to bed :( all tired xxx Current Mood:  groggy |
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